Fun

Princess Jasmine’s Lament

Jasmine2

Oh Aladdin, how I wish t’were me

You rubbed with such delight

Your rub your lamp so vigorously

To play with Genie, ev’ry night

You rub and rub, til it fairly glows

And the dome is rosy red

And then ‘pouff’ your Genie doth erupt

And you lay back on your bed

As you lay, and catch your wits

Your Genie sputters forth

And makes a mess upon the floor

And all upon the walls

He promises much, but delivers naught

So you rub him out once more

Oh foolish boy, tis me you need

To rub, and I’ll do yours

Just place that practiced finger

Right here, yes, that’s it!

Now rotate that practiced digit

And polish my tiny clit

And as my fervour rises

I will take your lamp in hand

I will rub your dome til it shines bright

The brightest in the land

Then with shaft a glowing

And my clit about to burst

Your Genie will explode for sure

– as long as I’ve cum first

And when your Genie’s wilted

And your seeds have all been sown

Just ask yourself, was that better

Than rubbing that lamp alone?

Jack’s Revenge

Kami Tora produced the two pictures used in this post and in Jack and Miss Forsyth as a pair. so I thought it would be neat to write two poems to illustrate the pictures. Kami Tora art lends itself so well to these fun poems, I find. Follow the tag to my other Kami Tora inspired poems. Enjoy!

Jack’s pride was hurt, just like his bum, Miss Forsyth whacked him so

His cock had risen as she did, and he gave the class a show

His bum was bare, his cock was hard, his tears were flowing free

And then his cock had shot a load, when paddled, ‘cross her knee

Jack had not been punished much, but it was actually quite nice

But Forsyth had hurt his manly pride, and for that, she’d pay a price

He wanted his revenge, you see, to right this painful wrong

He’d whack Miss Forsyth’s pretty bum, and hear her soulful song

He plotted long, he plotted hard, he just had to think this through

And then he got the perfect chance. It came quite out the blue

One day he had a Math test, his best and favourite class

His answers were a little off, but good enough to pass

Now Jack was used to being right, he did not like to fail

So when his got his paper back, it was quite beyond the pale

His parents paid out quite the fee to keep him at that school

So turning in a B+ grade, made him look quite the fool

His parents threatened to withdraw their little protégé

The teacher was at fault they said, “Jack should have got an A”

He told then not to worry, it was surely a mistake

He would meet his teacher after class, he knew what steps to take

He would put her in her rightful place, Forsyth would see the light

And so he met her after class, to convey his parent’s slight

“My folks, they pay your wages, see?” He came right out and said

“You need to grade me with an A, or you’ll be out of work instead”

She stood her ground, she stamped her foot. She was not one to be told

But then the Head was at the door and Miss Forsyth he did scold

“Young Jack’s dad, he built this school, he paid for every brick”

“So you will do just what you’re told. You’ll even suck his dick!”

With that, he left the pair alone, and Jack then took his cue

He smiled a knowing little smile. He knew just what to do

“You’ll write 100 times or more, ‘Jack always gets an A’

And when you’re done we can discuss the painful price you’ll pay

But first I think, a little fun. You know, the Head was right

If you suck my dick then I will know, you truly are contrite”

And so, on bended knee she went, and pulled his member out

And slathered up and down his pole, til he shot into her mouth

She chalked away, til the board was full, her mouth still full of cum,

And then he bent her o’er his knee, to spank her perky bum

He whipped her tights right down her thighs, her panties down as well

And marvelled at the gorgeous sight, of her rounded buttocks swell

He took a rule and whipped it down, red striping her fine arse

And kept on spanking at her bum, til she began to curse

She made such a noise, it wasn’t right. She wouldn’t stop her racket

So he put an apple in her mouth, and she bit down hard upon it

Now on he went, with vicious spite, spanking hard her naked rear

His grade, he knew, would now be A. Of that he had no fear.

Jack and Miss Forsyth

Jack was new at the Academy

So he didn’t know the drill

That Staff were Gods, and never wrong

So things quickly went downhill

One teacher in particular

The attractive Miss Forsyth

Was very strict about the rules

And the consequential price

For any lad, or any girl

Who questioned her reply

Well Jack was quite the cocky sod

So he argued, eye to eye

Forsyth fumed at Jack’s retort

“I’m having none of it!

You’d best get used to standing up

You’ll be too sore to sit!”

She had him write a hundred times

“I will do what she says”

And then she stripped him of his pants

And whacked his bum ablaze

He lay across her silken legs

His bottom bare to all

And then the paddle lit him up

And he began to bawl

And then she felt his willy grow

So she trapped it, twixt her thighs

And whaled upon his naked rear

Til his member did arise

She whacked him with her paddle

She made his bottom sore

She kept on spanking very hard

Until his cum shot on the floor

Songs for Spanking : Help me Rhonda

Another in my occasional series, Songs for Spanking.

I’m sure The Beach Boys would have been partial to hot buns themselves on a warm California evening. At least, that’s my interpretation of the hidden message behind ‘Help me Rhonda’.

 

Spank me Rhonda

Well since you spanked my ass I’ve been wantin’ you to do it again
I’ll fuck your sweet ass at night but in the mornin’ please just lay on some pain

Well, Rhonda you know I’m primed (know I’m primed)
So you know it wouldn’t take much time
For you to spank me Rhonda
Spank me ‘til I cum on the bed

Spank me Rhonda
Spank, Spank me Rhonda
Spank me Rhonda
Spank, Spank me Rhonda
Spank me Rhonda
Spank, Spank me Rhonda
Spank me Rhonda
Spank, Spank me Rhonda
Spank me Rhonda
Spank, Spank me Rhonda
Spank me Rhonda
Spank, Spank me Rhonda
Spank me Rhonda yeah
‘Til I cum on the bed

I was gonna be your boss
And you were gonna be my girl
(Oh Rhonda)
But I let you be the leader between us
And it shattered my world
(Oh Rhonda)

Well, Rhonda you spanked me tight (spanked me tight)
And I will suck your pussy every night
If you just spank me Rhonda
Spank me ‘til I cum on the bed

[repeat x2]

If you like this, the rest of the series is here:

Thank you for the Music

Fat Bottomed Girls

Sittin’ on the Dock of the Bay

Sweet Caroline

Help!

Duolingo XXX

latinaI’ve always wanted to speak another language, and with all those hot-blooded Latinas around, why not try Spanish?

To get going, I turned to the popular (and free) online tool from Duolingo. This is a crowd-sourced language course, and as I worked through I began to notice some tasty little Easter Eggs available to ‘help out’ a foreign visitor who might be looking for something, shall we say, off the regular menu.

It might be my schoolboy mind (after all, which of us can honestly say we didn’t look up dirty words in French calss, or turn straight to the ‘reproduction’ section in Biology), but I will let you be the judge. Here are a few phrases Duolingo offers up to the emerging Hispanophile looking for some Latina action:

In the early days:

¿Somos una pareja? after a tentative first date (are we a couple?).

A great chat up line? Creo que te voy a elegir (I think I am going to choose you).

And the snub she will give you? ¡Eres apenas un niño!  (you are barely a boy!).

Things moving a little quickly? ¡No creo! (I don’t think so)

And once you’ve on to the bedroom, Duolingo offers up a veritable feast of useful phrases to be sure you get your point across:

Latinas love their boob jobs, so how can you go wrong with this line:

¿Son reales? Paracen naturales, los tengo que sentirlos” (are they real? They seem natural. I have to feel them).

Now, assuming all has gone well so far, and el gringo is kneeling behind his lovely Latina. She has her hips high and her ass spread. “Estoy de rodillas’” she murmurs, “puedes hacerlo.” (I am on my knees, you can do it).

He is kneeling, cock in hand, on final approach. Let’s be generous and say he ‘slipped’ and popped up her pooper. She will likely scream ¡Asi no! ¿Dónde lo pone?” (Not like that! Where are you putting it?). “Lo siento”, he murmurs, Pensé que te gustaba” (Sorry, I thought you liked it).

She looks at him. “El gringo, his cock is not so big,” she thinks. “Maybe I will let him fuck my ass”. ‘Bueno”, she says, “lo haré eso, pero despacio, por favor” (okay, I will do that, but slowly please).

And afterwards, warming up for round two, el gringo pulls his latina lady across his knee for some spanking. “El dolor es bueno,” he whispers, spanking her bubble butt firmly (the pain is good). She moans with pleasure. “otro más por favor”, she cries. usaré tu cepillo” he replies (I will use your brush) and begins his count, “uno, dos, tres …”

Well thanks Duolingo. Armed with these phrases I think I have all I need for a fantastic Colombian vacation.

Bianca Neve Part 14

We left Bianca cooling her buns after tasting Spanky’s strap. What fates might befall her now? Read on – or go back here to start at Part 1.

She was alone in the woods, locked inside her own body and strapped down to this infernal contraption. She’d been buggered, tongued and whipped. Her glowing red buttocks were punctuated with the fat sausage sticking out of her cunny, looking no doubt like a particularly rosy cheeked Pinocchio caught in lies after lies.

And now she felt a growing itch, then the beginnings of a burning in her cunny. Her soft walls gripping the meaty length grew more tender, more irritated. She recalled that the sausage was spiced, and the spicy surface was mingling with her juices to inflame and sensitise her flesh. She felt the wet dripping down her thighs as her cunny wept.

She had always feared the gloaming, when the creatures and underlings emerged. Now, trapped and vulnerable, who knew what horrors might befall her with the coming of the night. What had gone before would be naught to what nightmares the Warlocks of the Taint might envision with such an alluring target. How could the dwarves be so stupid as to leave her out here, vulnerable and alone!

Her brain whirred and tumbled through the tales of evil and dread that were told round the fires at the Palace of the evils of the Night Woods. She had heard the whispered tales under cover of the darkness in the palace, when the maidens terrorised each other before slipping into soft, arm arms for comfort. Aside from the Warlocks, all the maidens whispered of the Spirit of the Fallen. The Spirits were drawn to the scent of a Virgin wherever she may be. Tales were told of young Virgins stolen from their beds – they would be whisked away to endure an eternity of pleasuring the long dead Knights of the Bloodied Cloth in the Kingdom of the Dead. And if not the Spirits or the Warlocks, then there was the worst of them all, the Throbber. He was said to have a penis the breadth and length of a man’s arm. It was said he would rip a maiden’s cunny wide open when taking his pleasure – even splitting her in two if she were particularly tiny down there. And no mortal man would lie with a maiden who had taken the Throbber, for his Cockling would never touch the sides.

What fate might befall poor Bianca, strapped, exposed and helpless in the night woods? The next episode will be here soon …

Bianca Neve part 13

Did Spanky subdue the vaginal bats? What in God’s name is he doing anyway? Go back here to follow us from the start.

“I don’t know. Only one way to find out. Any good miner knows, only way to check out underground is to put on yer lamp and get in there,” replied Knobby, very enigmatically. “But we need a canary, check it’s all safe.”

“You can’t shove a canary up her cunny you dozy pillock!” Spunky guffawed.

“I was being metaphorical you wassock! Mebbe you should be Dopey!” sneered Knobby. “What I mean is, we need to know the ground’s safe. Now what can we use?” Bianca heard the scratchy sound of beards being tugged in thought. “ I know – Dopey, you said she fed the beasts with a sausage. Go get one. We can poke her wi’ that. If the beasties are still alive they’ll latch on and we know it’s too dangerous – if not, in we go!”

Moments later, Bianca felt the rough end of the thick sausage push against her cunny, then slowly slip inside. She felt every ridge and bump as it slid deeply home and stopped there. She could imagine the sight she now provided – spread wide over Spanky’s contraption with her red bum glowing like a beacon, thighs thrust apart with a giant sausage sticking out of her conija.

After several minutes she heard murmurs.

“How long does it take,” whispered Tiny.

“Don’t know – it might be like baiting a deer trap,” whispered Spunky.

“Why are we whispering?” whispered Spanky.

“Oh just get up from there!” shouted Knobby. “Ye’ll see nothing til we pull out the sausage. If it’s still whole we’ve nowt to fear!”

“Ay, and we can still have sausage for supper!” piped Dopey.

“So what do we do? We can’t just leave her here in the middle of the room. We can’t get by.” That was Tiny.

Knobby took charge again. “Let’s just get her outside. We can leave her there while we finish the chores. We’ve still a lot to do – looks like she didn’t get any work done today and we’ve spent too long trying to wake her already. Look, it’s almost dark out. Come on, let’s carry her out on Spanky’s table.”

With that, she felt herself hoisted aloft. In moments she was outside, feeling the cool evening air on her bare flesh. She felt herself lowered and then a blanket was throw over her shoulders and back. She heard footsteps moving away and a door slammed.

Part 14 is here. Hurry over there before it disappears.

Bianca Neve Part 12

And so it goes on. I’m wondering why I ever started this . Still, if you want to catch up, you can start here.

At last she felt herself carried off the bed. She was draped over a soft but firm contraption. She felt herself tip forwards so her head was down, knees apart and butt high.

“Don’t forget the straps boys!” shouted Spanky. “We don’t want any accidents when she wakes.”

She felt straps being fastened around her waist and thighs to hold her steady. Once she was positioned, there was a hushed silence behind her. She could feel their eyes drinking in the sight she offered with her exposed bum and sex. She imagined Knobby was stroking his cock once more, and Slurpy eyeing her wet folds warily. What she didn’t imagine was the sudden, biting line of fire as Spanky’s leather strap whipped across and around her buttocks, leaving behind a line of fire and a sharp nip where the strap kissed her outer thigh. Internally she stiffened, screamed and struggled – but all the while she remained locked inside her own body. Again and again the pain bit into her soft, vulnerable buttocks as Spanky got into his rhythym, laying on the strap with a vigour in time to his own growing excitement.

She thought it would never end. Her bum cheeks were on fire as the strap whipped down again and again. And then she felt the surging begin again as her pleasure grew in time with his lashes. She climbed higher and higher as his strap bit harder and harder until she stiffened, froze and then released. Behind her she heard a gasp.

“Stop! Stop!” screamed Knobby. “By ‘eck lad! You’ve broken summat inside I think!” He looked around at the hushed crowd. “Did you lads see that? Like a geyser that was, right out of her cunny!”

“Oh no! Do you think she’s alright?” asked Spanky, his voice suddenly fearful.

Well we can’t leave it there! Part 13 is here.

Bianca Neve Part 11

The continuing adventures of Bianca Neve. It all started way back here.

“You’ve a way with that strap, I’ll give yer that,” said Knobby. “To be sure, young Droopy’s pointi’ North agin, and he can play a full part in ‘hide the sausage’, but the poor wee laddie cannot even sit for supper! I can’t ‘ave you marking our Bianca like that.”

Spanky smiled to himself at the thought of young Droopy secured over his trestle twice daily for his ‘medicine’. Little did he know that the reason for his dangly dobber was securely stashed inside Spanky’s pants pocket. He’d been dropping a little herbal concoction into his tea each morning. After a few days he’d eased off the dosage, so he could claim the benefits of his continued treatment. How else would he get one of the dwarves to drop pants to feel his strap? Nothing got his pecker up faster than the sight of a twitching pair of naked buttocks, ready to be marked with the kiss of leather. The thought of having Bianca’s fuller buttocks bared for his attention had his shaft almost ripping a hole in his breeches. It was one thing poking a dwarf with glowing red cheeks. The thought of having Bianca in the same state was almost too much for him to bear.

He tried to reply, squeeked, cleared his throat and tried to sound authoritative. “I know what I’m doing here lads. We just need to shake the bats from their cave. A good hard strapping is the best way to knock ‘em loose. If needs be, Knobby can follow up with a butt plowing to help her along. After that, she should be free o’ bats and ready for a proper going-at.”

There were murmurs of dissent at his words. Sensing that the high degree of scepticism might thwart his goal of whipping young Bianca’s soft cheeks, he pushed forwards. “Come on lads, what’s to lose? None of us can get to bed tonight ‘til we get her out of here anyways, and none of you have a better idea.” He nudged a couple of the quitter dwarves to help him, and pretty soon Bianca felt strong hands mauling and maneuvering her under Spanky’s direction. More than once a calloused hand squeezed her bubbies and dragged over her stiff young nipples, sending a lightning bolt straight to her pleasure nub and renewing her excitement and frustration.

Part 12 tomorrow

Bianca Neve Part 10

Slurpy’s done his job, now can Spunky bring her round? It all began here

“Come on then Spunky. Looks like Slurpy’s got the ground well prepared. Time for your tilling I think!” shouted another voice, accompanied by guffaws. “Ay, come on Spunky, get in there lad!”

Spunky felt his ardor wane at the thought of what had just happened to Slurpy – and that was just his tongue. What would happen if he shoved his todger in there and she trapped him like that? He could be eaten alive by her little bats! He felt sick at the thought.

“I, er, I think it’s too dangerous right now lads. The bats are likely flapping off the walls in there, thanks to Slurpy.”

Knobby sneered at Spunky. “Call yerself a dwarf! Scared of a little cave dweller are ye? Well, if you buggers won’t let plow a furrow up her arse again, we need to do something. We can’t leave her there all day. We need the bed.”

“I’ve an idea,” said a new voice. “Might be a chance for you to bugger her again here Knobby, you old fucker. It’s a wonder yer todger’s not stained brown the amount o’ time it’s in the shit!” Knobby muttered something she couldn’t catch.

“Anyhow, if none of us is Dwarf enough to go up ‘er shaft wi’out a canary, we might try shaking yon bats out o’ their roost.” Bianca’s mind struggled to place the voice. Sounded a bit like Spanky. She’d never yet figured out how he got that name, but it sounded like he had an idea that might get her out of this mess.

“What makes you think your such an expert on matters then??” sneered Knobby.

“Oh, you know. I’ve had my triumphs. Ask Droopy there. Came to me wi’ a floppy todger, not a boner in sight. I laid ‘im over my bench and strapped his arse, drove the blood straight into his todger. Did that for two weeks straight and now just the sight of a leather belt has ‘im standing strong as a prop in the mine.”

Droopy spoke. “Aye, mi’ pecker’s up agin, that’s for sure. And the added bonus is that I don’t need a friggin’ lantern down the mines any more, just drop my breeches and the glow from my cheeks lights up the whole friggin’ cavern!”

Part 11 is here