Samara’s Bad-Girl Guide to Writing Erotica


A Buick in the Land of Lexus

woman-writing-erotica 2

Ever since the appearance of Fifty Shades of Grey, the worst book to have ever sold 100 million copies worldwide, everyone is writing erotica.

I don’t want to discuss this Idiot Book, the fact that Anastasia is a virgin who orgasms 20 times an hour, never worries about getting a urinary tract infection or somehow made it through college without owning a LAPTOP.

Bad erotica is sprouting up everywhere. All of it hackneyed and formulaic.

The characters are always flawless. Or if they have flaws, they are so endearing they make the character even more adorable.

For women,”clumsy” is the most popular endearing flaw. For the record, I am clumsy. It’s a pretty glaring flaw. There’s nothing sexy about. I fall down, smack my head on things, injure myself frequently and am generally shocked to still be alive.

Last week, in a meeting with a group of men, I dropped my pen…

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I Put A Spell On You

A http://www... Sweet poem! Reblogged for some Halloween fun!

The Migraine Chronicles


Ghosts, goblins and witch’s brew

My love, My dear, I put a spell on you

a spell of love and sexy things

to fall upon you this Halloween

I put a spell on you, to make you mine

to make you love me ’til the end of time

hocus pocus and bippity boo

My Love, My Dear, I put a spell on you

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Out For Lunch

nice poem from Bliss. I would love to be that guy, fingers caressing a warm, moist pussy before spanking that delicious bottom in the open air. Just imagine taking her up the back alley. Pun intended.

Wet Bliss


You invited me out for a bite to eat

I phoned you to say I was on my way

Anticipation built in rapid heartbeats

I hoped that my needy looks didn’t betray

I truly hungered for something else, more

To fill this fevered, lascivious craving

Crushing me with need building at my core

Thrumming severely with want, I did ache

For the passion to be eased and released…

We meet at the entrance of the local café

One look, and you knew to lead me down the street

Found a secluded alleyway in the broad day

Bared my ass and caressed my creamy cheeks

Punished for wearing panties, you spanked with skill

Enflaming my glorious mounds, and made me leak

Satisfied with our lunch out and all that was spilled

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Best Damned Quotes: Elmo Phillips

Elmo Phillips clearly knew his stuff. Some things you just grow to like. Broccoli, cauliflower, spanking, it’s all the same!

Old Road Apples


I missed my regular “best damned quotes” entry yesterday–I’m very, very sorry.

” You don’t appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman. Stuff you pay good money for in later life.”
–Elmo Phillips

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