Reblogged

Samara’s Bad-Girl Guide to Writing Erotica

Hilarious!

A Buick in the Land of Lexus

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Ever since the appearance of Fifty Shades of Grey, the worst book to have ever sold 100 million copies worldwide, everyone is writing erotica.

I don’t want to discuss this Idiot Book, the fact that Anastasia is a virgin who orgasms 20 times an hour, never worries about getting a urinary tract infection or somehow made it through college without owning a LAPTOP.

Bad erotica is sprouting up everywhere. All of it hackneyed and formulaic.

The characters are always flawless. Or if they have flaws, they are so endearing they make the character even more adorable.

For women,”clumsy” is the most popular endearing flaw. For the record, I am clumsy. It’s a pretty glaring flaw. There’s nothing sexy about. I fall down, smack my head on things, injure myself frequently and am generally shocked to still be alive.

Last week, in a meeting with a group of men, I dropped my pen…

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I Put A Spell On You

A http://www... Sweet poem! Reblogged for some Halloween fun!

The Migraine Chronicles

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Ghosts, goblins and witch’s brew

My love, My dear, I put a spell on you

a spell of love and sexy things

to fall upon you this Halloween

I put a spell on you, to make you mine

to make you love me ’til the end of time

hocus pocus and bippity boo

My Love, My Dear, I put a spell on you

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Best Damned Quotes: Elmo Phillips

Elmo Phillips clearly knew his stuff. Some things you just grow to like. Broccoli, cauliflower, spanking, it’s all the same!

Old Road Apples

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I missed my regular “best damned quotes” entry yesterday–I’m very, very sorry.

” You don’t appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman. Stuff you pay good money for in later life.”
–Elmo Phillips

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Nancy

Sexy little story – I like the whipping boy twist.

Hot Bottoms

 

Liz’s text reached him at 2:10.

“Can you be here at 2:45. No later than 3:00?”

He looked at the files piled on his desk and at the task list on the screen in front of him. Nothing that couldn’t wait.

“Sure” he texted back and headed for the door.

Her door was unlocked and he called up the steps, “I’m here!”

“Come on up.” It was 2:53. “We’re in the kitchen.”

“We’re?” he thought as he crossed the living room. In the kitchen, across the table, Liz stood up flashing a radiant full-tooth ear to ear cheerleader smile that lit up her whole face. She had been pouring water into a tea cup for an older woman seated at the table. Liz looked positively girlish with her hair parted in the middle and pulled back behind her ears.  She was wearing a university polo-shirt that fitted tightly to…

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