I’ve always wanted to speak another language, and with all those hot-blooded Latinas around, why not try Spanish?
To get going, I turned to the popular (and free) online tool from Duolingo. This is a crowd-sourced language course, and as I worked through I began to notice some tasty little Easter Eggs available to ‘help out’ a foreign visitor who might be looking for something, shall we say, off the regular menu.
It might be my schoolboy mind (after all, which of us can honestly say we didn’t look up dirty words in French calss, or turn straight to the ‘reproduction’ section in Biology), but I will let you be the judge. Here are a few phrases Duolingo offers up to the emerging Hispanophile looking for some Latina action:
In the early days:
¿Somos una pareja? after a tentative first date (are we a couple?).
A great chat up line? Creo que te voy a elegir (I think I am going to choose you).
And the snub she will give you? ¡Eres apenas un niño! (you are barely a boy!).
Things moving a little quickly? ¡No creo! (I don’t think so)
And once you’ve on to the bedroom, Duolingo offers up a veritable feast of useful phrases to be sure you get your point across:
Latinas love their boob jobs, so how can you go wrong with this line:
“¿Son reales? Paracen naturales, los tengo que sentirlos” (are they real? They seem natural. I have to feel them).
Now, assuming all has gone well so far, and el gringo is kneeling behind his lovely Latina. She has her hips high and her ass spread. “Estoy de rodillas’” she murmurs, “puedes hacerlo.” (I am on my knees, you can do it).
He is kneeling, cock in hand, on final approach. Let’s be generous and say he ‘slipped’ and popped up her pooper. She will likely scream “¡Asi no! ¿Dónde lo pone?” (Not like that! Where are you putting it?). “Lo siento”, he murmurs, “Pensé que te gustaba” (Sorry, I thought you liked it).
She looks at him. “El gringo, his cock is not so big,” she thinks. “Maybe I will let him fuck my ass”. ‘Bueno”, she says, “lo haré eso, pero despacio, por favor” (okay, I will do that, but slowly please).
And afterwards, warming up for round two, el gringo pulls his latina lady across his knee for some spanking. “El dolor es bueno,” he whispers, spanking her bubble butt firmly (the pain is good). She moans with pleasure. “otro más por favor”, she cries. “usaré tu cepillo” he replies (I will use your brush) and begins his count, “uno, dos, tres …”
Well thanks Duolingo. Armed with these phrases I think I have all I need for a fantastic Colombian vacation.